SMASH PHONE, SMASH!

So, you‚Äôre standing at the bar, right?  Smashed out of your mind, right? Oh, you don‚Äôt drink? Well, then you‚Äôre pretending to be smashed out of your mind. All of a sudden, your iPhone rings.  You take it out of your pocket and answer it.  

A minute later, you’re yelling into the phone, screaming curses over the airwaves, and then, much to the shock and horror of all those now watching the spectacle you have made of yourself, you slam your iPhone down onto the floor, breaking it into bits.

You hear gasps from people around you.  They‚Äôve all heard how much iPhones cost.

You shrug. ‚ÄúI‚Äôll get a new one.‚Äù The next day, you show up with another iPhone and repeat the whole scene. And again.  The entire bar is aghast. And afraid.  (read on)

You suddenly have a reputation. Members of the opposite sex attach themselves to your hip.  You‚Äôre suddenly the most popular person at the bar.  But that reputation has it‚Äôs downside too – people start hiding their phones from you.  If you ask to borrow someone else‚Äôs phone to make a call, they guide you gently to the pay phone and offer you some change.

Your secret? You have easy access to an iPhone Dummy!  For $20, you‚Äôve just set your reputation for life.