Scorn On The Cob: The Intertubes React To AT&T’s “Use Less Bandwidth” Plea

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AT&T's recent public admission that their customers are clobbering their 3G network — coupled with a not-so-subtle plea for those with unlimited data plans to start, y'know, limiting themselves for the good of mankind — has been greeted with almost universal scorn.

ATTACK OF THE SHOW (G4 TV's hip, snarky flagship news program) pulled no punches as co-hosts Kevin Pereirra (himself a confirmed iPhoner) and Olivia Munn told it like it is:

More snarky spleen-venting can be found at The Secret Diary of Steve Jobs, a fake (but hilarious) Uncle Steve blog.  (The main page logo includes the sub-headline "Dude, I invented the frigging iPhone.  Have you heard of it?")  In this entry, fake-Steve gets on the phone with an equally fake Death Star prexie Randall Stephenson and basically rips him a new one:

Randall, baby. we’ve got a hit on our hands. We’ve got the smartphone equivalent of Meet the Beatles.
It’s not like that album was the first rock album ever. It’s not like
nobody ever made a band with some guitars and drums before. But it was
radical. It was new. They took old forms and made them new. Same with
us. We didn’t invent the smartphone or the PDA or the music player or
the Web browser. We just made them better. We made them new. We changed
the fucking world, Randall.

…So let‚Äôs talk traffic. We‚Äôve got people who love this goddamn phone so
much that they’re living on it. Yes, that’s crushing your network. Yes,
3% of your users are taking up 40% of your bandwidth. You see this as a
bad thing. It’s not. It’s a good thing. It’s a blessing. It’s an
indication that people love what we’re doing, which means you now have
a reason to go out and double or triple or quadruple your damn network
capacity. Jesus! I can’t believe I’m explaining this to you. You’re in
the business of selling bandwidth. That pipe is what you sell. Right
now what the market is telling you is that you can sell even more! Lots
more! Good Lord. The world is changing, and you’re right in the sweet

You get the idea.  Read the entire entry, it's a doozy.  One can only imagine THE DAILY SHOW's Jon Stewart weighing in on the topic…

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