Follow these simple steps, and we guaran-damn-TEE your iPhone will help you have the best Valentine's Day ever.
- Turn your iPhone so the edge with the earphone jack is facing you. (If need be, use the picture above as a visual aid.)
- See that little black oval on the right? That's the power switch. Push it.
- Yeah, you heard us. SHUT YOUR DAMN PHONE OFF. AND LEAVE IT OFF UNTIL MONDAY, CHUCKLES. No calls, no texts, no email, no web surfing, no App Store, no iTunes, no Cydia. For twenty-four hours, let Uncle Steve's pride and joy play the role of a shiny little hi-tech paperweight.
- Now you can indulge your sweetheart in one or more of the following: flowers, candy, teddy bears, dinner, dancing, sexy lingerie, bubble baths, sensual massage… You get the picture. Most importantly, you're giving them your undivided, uninterrupted attention.
We'll talk to you on Monday. And we want ALL the salacious details. Pictures, too, if possible. (And yes, you CAN turn your iPhone on long enough for some snapshots…)