The New Puritanism: Apple Bans ALL Suggestive Apps

This image described by Apple, App Store, sexual innuendo banned, Puritan-woman

Sorry, horndogs, the above may be the sexist woman you'll find in the App Store these days.

Last week, with little to no fanfare or even advance warning, Apple decided to yank ALL apps containing "overt sexual content" from the App Store.  Sounds like the usual no-smut policy, right? 

We wish.  In House of Jobs-speak, "overt" apparently applies to content as benign as cute models in one-piece bathing suits.  When one developer caught flat-footed by the new ban challenged the fate of, say, the SPORTS ILLUSTRATED swimsuit-edition app, an Apple employee vaguely hinted it might be asked to hit the bricks as well.

Jon Atherton — whose Wobble app incurred its share of App Store wrath — spoke to another Apple worker-bee, and collected the following "Thou Shalt Not's:"

  1. No images of women in bikinis (Ice skating tights are not OK either)
  2. No images of men in bikinis! (I didn’t ask about Ice Skating tights for men)
  3. No skin (he seriously said this) (I asked if a Burqa was OK, and the Apple guy got angry)
  4. No silhouettes that indicate that Wobble can be used for wobbling
    boobs (yes – I am serious, we have to remove the silhouette in this pic)
  5. No sexual connotations or innuendo: boobs, babes, booty, sex – all banned
  6. Nothing that can be sexually arousing!! (I doubt many people
    could get aroused with the pic above but those puritanical guys at
    Apple must get off on pretty mundane things to find Wobble “overtly
  7. No apps will be approved that in any way imply sexual content (not sure how Playboy is still in the store, but …)

Apparently parental blocks and age-appropriateness ratings weren't enough for Apple, whose sudden ban means that developers who were actually making decent money on essentially PG-rated innuendo have been cut off at the knees.  Worse, you can still purchase R-rated movies (showing tons of skin, and more!) on iTunes — just not in the App Store.

Welcome to the return of the Eisenhower Administration — or Victorian England.

"Censorship is an ugly thing in this country." – Michael Binkley, BLOOM COUNTY

[Via TechCrunch]

About Dactyl Anapest

Google + Profile