Mini Reviews: Adult Sex Strip, Lose It!, The Slap Game

Transform your iPhone into a weight loss apparatus, a slap fight, or a joke that starts out dirty and ends up boring.

Adult Sex Strip

There is a reason that online pornography is more popular than all other internet content combined.  With Apple’s ban on adult themed iPhone applications and games it has forced cheap iPhone application developers to try and tap into this market from the side.  What this has birthed is a flurry of vaguely sexual iPhone applications that show censored pictures of women topless, uncharacteristic applications that have sexual positions, or “bikini” apps.  Not only are these free iPhone applications annoying bits of sexist ridiculousness, but they lack any kind of substantial content what so ever.  Despite this they seem to only increase in popularity as they more often than not hit the top ten lists at the App Store.  Apparently it is hard to resist names like “Sex Positions Game” or “Adult Truth or Dare.”  Adult Sex Strip is one of these “games” from IntroWizard LLC and purposely lacks any information on its iTunes’ App Store page.  This is done so that, even though you know it is unlikely, you will think that there is some possible images of naked people.  With a name like Adult Sex Strip it seems like it could happen.  Just maybe.  Instead, Adult Sex Strip is a stupid text “game” that gives you somewhat suggestive commands like “strip off your necklace,”  “massage your partner’s back,” or “watch your partner touching you for a round.”  This is supposed to be played with another person, and supposedly is a strip game of some sort.  I think there needs to be a little more stripping and sex to earn the name Adult Sex Strip.  The interface is as simple and clunky as something could be, and you are forced to do annoying shakes in between commands.  This is all topped out with banner ads that disrupt the annoying flow you are supposed to be in.  Adult Sex Strip is a mind numbing example of how inane much of what iPhone developers have reduced themselves to in the effort to create popular free iPhone applications.  Do not download Adult Sex Strip, do not look at its App Store page, and do not go anywhere near IntroWizard LLC.  There has to be some way to communicate to parasitic companies like this that this is not what qualifies as an iPhone game.This image described by Free iphone games, free iphone applications, iphone weight loss, iphone diet applications, weight loss, weight loss applications, adult sex strip, iphone adult, iphone adult sex strip, iphone lose it, iphone slap game

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Lose It!

Weight loss topics remain one of the top keywords for internet search engines.  If it involves diets, weight loss tips, weight loss regiments, workout routines, or anything in between you can better believe there is an opportunistic entrepreneur behind it.  The same is true on the iPhone as weight loss applications have become a major genre up for download.  Lose It! is an incredibly popular free iPhone application dedicated to weight loss.  What Lose It! does is require you to create an account where you set your current weight and your target weight.  You will also set personal body information like your height, your birthday, how much weight you plan to lose per week.  You will then have a program with daily plans for how many calories you can eat.  You can then add food and exercises to your Lose It! account, which either have a caloric or anti-caloric content.  The idea here is to maintain your caloric balance so as to meet your personal weight goals.   This is pretty simple in terms of setting up a weight loss plan on your iPhone, but Lose It! makes this in depth enough to be a satisfying guide.  Here you can track your progress in Lose It!, look at graphs of your success, and get a clear caloric value for different things.  Lose It! is one of the best nutrition and health focused applications on the iPhone, and the fact that it is free is only the icing on the cake.  Maybe low calorie icing.
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The Slap Game

The Slap Game is a game where you hit the character on your screen.  After going through an annoying initiation of banner ads and reminders to invite your friends you will begin the Slap Game.  In it you follow a pattern where a bulky three dimensional character is running at you.  You are then given commands like “shake it,” “slap it,” and “trip it.”  You then have to try to figure out what the crap they are talking about.  What you can begin to make out is that you should shake your iPhone, slap the screen, or try to take him out at the knees and make him trip over.  This is not very fun, or challenging, but there is a couple gameplay options to try to entice you back to the Slap Game.  Over all this is a strange port of the classic “bob it” series that lurked the halls of electronic children’s games.  Some things just work better when it is composed of plastic and AAA batteries.  At least then you didn’t have to hit your cell phone.

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