"In a world of doesn't, Droid does," goes Motorola's
ad copy for
it's latest and greatest cell phone, the Droid.
Yeah, well here's something Droid absolutely doesn't
Droid ads are brash, outspoken, and very, very loud.
They may work for some, but we find them a bit extreme. They tend to feature
creepy mechanical arms, or a guy's arm becoming robotic.
Looks like Arnie spent way too much time typing on his Droid
advertising tries to create an eye-popping science-fiction atmosphere by
always featuring machinery and space station-like settings. Again,
if you worship at the altar of
even old-school STAR TREK, this may be a visual nerdgasm — but it's not
really showing us any practical uses of their applications.
"Can a smartphone see light years into
"Droid can," it says; "there's no limit to what Droid does."
Okay, we get it: there are lots of apps, and there is probably something out
there for everything.
Here's the thing: do we really need to see a space station to get the
impression that this is the future? Sorry, but smartphones aren't the
future; they're the right now.
Kinda takes us back to the late 80s and those
commercials, whose catchphrase was "Now You're Playing With Power!"
Of course, these ads were made over 20 years ago
— and were aimed primarily at kids and teens.
there's the "Droid owners are hardcore" subtext in the ads for an app that
tracks your running time and mileage, "informing your friends of how much of
your dust they're eating." Thanks, we
really feel like
Let's find someone to beat up…
Other ads create a sense of super advanced technology,
by having Droid phones dropped by stealth bombers. Well, it gets the point
across, but even this screams 1998, when Dubya was in office and ARMAGEDDON
in the multiplexes…
not even gonna try to explain the spooky eye commercial. Does it mean
that we will become evil robots? Are we part machine now that we own a phone
that runs on the Android OS? Are Verizon and Google planting robotic chips
in our heads through our phone's earpiece?
Is this the Robot Apocalypse that
and Olivia on ATTACK OF THE SHOW are constantly ranting and raving
about? What are they trying to tell us?
One user in the Droid forums mentioned that the commercial reminded him of a
in which Pamela Stephenson gets pulled into a machine that turns her into a
robot. He's right:
scene was effing terrifying if you were a kid. No joke. Of course the
we've seen creepy commercials before, much like the infamous "Baby"
commercial Sony released just before the PlayStation 3 launched:
to say, Sony eventually changed their ad campaign.
Mind you, not all of the Droid commercials Bring The Creepy. Some of them
take the "we're better than the competition" approach. This one adds some
faster cuts, more colors and features less robotic arms:
Well, at least it's kind of hip, but it
still hearkens back to the days of "Genesis Does what
Nintendon't" and the talk of Blast Processing:
Don't get us wrong, Android is great. It's the Droid
commercials that seem a bit silly.
Robotic hands or some dude turning into a T-800 aren't going to put these
in the hand of Joe Six-Pack.
Prove to us that "Droid does" — in particular, show
us what it
does that the iPhone doesn't.
Make it look practical.
Catch us with an interesting ad that makes us want the
features that the Droid offers.
And for crying out loud, lose the space station!